What is fear? Everyone obtains fear, but why? Why does fear influence your decisions on how you want to live your life? What are you afraid of?
I bet I could list a few things that you are afraid of (or was afraid of at a moment in your existence) and would probably be exactly right, whether you would agree or disagree. So let me begin….
You are afraid to be daring. To be different. You are afraid standing out because you are afraid of what others will think of you. You are afraid of trying new things. Of the unknown. Afraid to fail. You are afraid of love. To be loved. You are afraid of forever. Of commitments. Afraid of getting old. Or maybe even being alone? (see that rhyme there;)) You are afraid of dying. Flying? You are simply afraid.
I think this is what our problem is, we are so afraid that we won’t let new things take control. We need to be in control. It is who we are. If we are not in control, we are lost and we are running, we just don’t know where we are running to.
When fear kicks in, we tend to close our eyes. It is a natural instinct. We think that if we can’t see our fears, they will disappear. But have you ever noticed when you close your eyes, sometimes, it is for those most magical moments. likeee…
- Kissing
- Praying
- Crying
- Dreaming
Recently, for Sociology class, we were asked to read Tuesdays with Morrie. I enjoy reading so of course I was willing to read this for class. It is a simple read and if you are not much of a reader (which surprises me if you are reading these posts I have because they tend to get pretty lengthy… I apologize :)) but I recommend this book. But throughout this book, there are so many different topics that are covered that helps explain life and our culture today. One of the topics that was put on emphasis in this book was fear… Crazy of me to bring this up in my post pertaining to fear! But Morrie was asked to answer some topics to teach people his understandings such as the fear of aging and the fear of death.
Morrie explains the fear of aging in that it should not be a fear, but yet an acceptance. He states that he has lived through all of the years, that he has personally been through all of them. Therefore, he is not jealous of younger people who still maintain life. Growing old is something that we all will hopefully do and one of Morrie’s quotes is “If you are wanting to relive your youthful years, it means you didn’t live them right.” Isn’t that the hard truth?! He is not afraid of aging because it is what everyone on this earth have in common: being born and death– and between those two things is living while growing older each year, day, minute, second. Which leads me to the next fear that Morrie must try to explain, death. I think that this quote just explains it all:
“The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”
Morrie isn’t the only one who is knowledgable about once you know death, you know how to live… one person I’m thinking of sings the country song (since I am a country girl) singing “Someday I hope you get the chance, to Live Like You Were Dying” by Mr. Tim McGraw..
Morrie did have one fear and that was a fear of dependancy. This meaning where he is not able to take care of himself on a personal hygiene level, more specifically- fear of not being able to wipe his own ass. His disease made it impossible for him to continue taking care of himself so eventually he had to accept where he was in life. Nobody walking this earth has no fears so this is when I say, embrace them.
“If you hold back on the emotions–if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them–you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your heard even, you experience them fully and completely.” -Morrie
The definition of fear (according to Dictionary.com):
fear (feer) n.: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
Without fear- people wouldn’t be able to make decisions.
So lets talk about fear, your fear.
Because I am going to be honest; no matter how tough you are, how much you can bench or lift or whatever, no matter if you are a male or female, no matter how old you are… YOU ARE AFRAID. I’ll tell you some of my fears, because well, I am afraid of some things and I don’t mind if you laugh at em! 🙂
1. I am afraid of spiders. Deathly afraid. Even if they are about a size of an ant, there is about a 100% guarantee that I will be freaking out with a possibility of having a heart attack. And from this fear, I have a story for you… I was in Virginia visiting my father at about the age of 8 or 9 and was at this daycare/camp thing that I had to go to during the week all the time because well… that’s about the only reason I went to go visit my father was to be childsat… (sorry that was a little unnecessary to include but had to get a little rant in for the day) but anyways I was at this daycare place and there was a sweet jungle gym play area in the backyard. Have you mind, about 30 feet from the end of the playground was like a forest. We were in a very wooded area and one day, I was just chillin on the jungle gym after playing with my friends.. I look over about 2 feet from me because I saw something moving… It was a spider. Not just any spider.. A BLACK fricken WIDOW. These are deadly. Therefore, I am deathly afraid of them. This scary spider can kill with one bite and is the deadliest spider (I believe) in the U.S. BUT from every scary story comes a good story to tell, and well me still being alive is one hell of an accomplishment after that confrontation.
So to my future man, you best be a master killer of spiders.
2. I am afraid of snakes. Those slithery, scaly bodies just give me the hebe jebes. Say I am mowing my lawn and I see one, there is no possible chance that I will continue to mow that day. Regardless of how much grass was cut or was not cut. Oh and have you mind… I have a riding lawn mower!
3. I am afraid of the dark. I mean to a certain extent. Because let’s be honest here… If I had a cute boy, in a dark room, probably watching a movie, I would be like “Oh hey, I forgot to mention.. but I am afraid of the dark.. Let’s cuddle” sorta thing even though I would not be afraid at that moment because I am not alone. I think what started my fear of the dark would be my house I grew up in… It was built in the 40’s but it is scary.. Like just how old houses creak and make horror movie sounds. Yeah that’s probably it. But I do sleep with a teddy bear and I sometimes need a little light to give me some reassurance.
Well I told you you could laugh at my fears if you wish and well the first three were pretty common fears ..not gonna lie.. so here is your chance to laugh, and by all means, laugh as much as you want 🙂
4. I am afraid of Porta Potties. Yup. Judge me, laugh, make fun, do whatever because hey, I have accepted it 🙂 but I am afraid of these nasty shit holes for like three apparent reasons. 1.) I am afraid that the thing will tip over while I am doing my thang. 2.) There could be some animal(s) living under it, in it, on top of it, you name it. I am more afraid of snakes being in there. So I mean two fears in one place = nightmare. 3.) I am afraid of falling in them… cause that is just gross.
So my fears are out in the open but let me tell you… those aren’t just my only fears. Those are the ones where like people are like “yeah, typical fears..” blah blah blah. What I have feared in the past is what maybe some of you are still fearing today, is to be different, to be yourself. Others- this may not relate to you.. But I had a big problem in high school (more towards the freshman/sophomore stage) in which I was afraid of what people thought of me. Let’s be real.. I am not an average person. I do things my own way.. if you know me now.. before this, I was very shy. I would not stand up for what I believed in and did not stand up for myself. I literally let people walk all over me. Even though I did end up doing some things my own way. I wasn’t about to change completely who I was to please people. I still dressed “like a boy” some would say by wearing basketball shorts and tshirts all of the time but I guess I wasn’t meant to fit in. Fit in with that crowd at least. Because whether I knew this or not, there are always going to be people out there that accept you. So why not be you because you know you are different. I had a huge wake up call where people would just follow the leader and they were scared of not fitting in with anybody if they didn’t follow. I obviously was one to go my own path. Therefore, it really limited my friends but why have tons of fake friends if I can have just a few close friends? I witnessed myself one of my best friends following the crowd because she didn’t want to be considered “weird” or “lame”.. Hey, EMBRACE your weirdness, your lameness, your ways of doing and being different. Because who is going to stop you? It is your life. You gotta do you sometimes even if it is a scary thought but whoever thought you were weird, are actually weird in their own ways too. This goes along with trying new things.. A lot of people are afraid to do somethings just because of what people think of them. Don’t let that be the case. Don’t let anyone take who you are from you. Because whether you like it or not, the real you shows at the most influential times of your lives and that’s when it all matters. Or maybe you are afraid to try new things because you are afraid of what it might do to you; change you, threaten you, have an impact on you. I’m not here to tell you to do some pretty stupid things to conquer your fears but to tell you that sometimes being afraid is good for you and you can accomplish small goals in your life.. I mean maybe you are afraid to try Sushi- try Sushi! It ain’t gonna kill you (unless you are allegoric.. then don’t try Sushi!) but you get my point… I hope. These fears are all important but obviously my last two blogs were kinda about “love” and “perfection” and I am going to be honest with you… Do not be afraid to fall in love. (I really don’t know much about this topic but if you are afraid to fall, the person at the bottom who is ready to catch you won’t be standing there forever.) To not be married before you are 26. I don’t know whatever you are afraid of, just try each day to be less afraid then you were the day before. Don’t be afraid to fail. You’ll get it right eventually no matter how many times it takes you to try.. I am a pretty inspirational quote type of person and have some meaningful quotes to leave you with..
“If you are afraid to fail, you’ll keep failing forever.”
“Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, but start focusing on what could go right.”
“Don’t be afraid to give yourself everything you’ve ever wanted in your life.”
“Fear is nothing more than an obstacle that stands in the way of progress. In overcoming our fears, we can move forward. Stronger and wiser within ourselves.”
Also, do not forget about the scripture because God says in the Bible to “Do Not Be Afraid” 365 times. (People say that he says this because he wants you to not be afraid each and every day of the 365 day year. He wants us to live fearless, isn’t that something.)
Deuteronomy 31:6
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord, your God, goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Be daring. Be great. Be beautiful. Be not afraid.
Final question I have for you is to have you think about:
What would you have done if you weren’t afraid?
hunterrmathieu 